Hold Tight! - Not funny
Chapter 6
Page 52
Hold Tight!
Chapter 6
35 Fans
36 Smash hits
37 New money
38 Eastleigh
39 Tight squeeze
40 Romsey
41 Hythe
42 Holy city
43 Docks tours
44 Fawley & Calshot
45 Kids and animals
46 Hot stuff
47 Police, stop
48 Flic storys
49 Specials
50 Just sack me!
51 Machine wars
52 Not funny
53 Borrowing
54 Demon drink
55 One for the road
56 Disputes
1 Beginnings
2 Learning
3 Getting Away
4 Winchester
5 Freedom
6 Southampton
7 City Transport
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..... you should never have joined.
In the early 1970s there was a comedy show called 'On The Buses'. This was centred round the antics of a bus crew and their arch enemy, the inspector. The show became compulsive viewing, so much so that we had to see the end before going out on the next journey. The canteen in Southampton was upstairs and passengers on the top deck of the buses could see in. It didn't matter, we and they were going nowhere until the programme ended. You can always make up a quarter of an hour.
There was a spate of sabotage on unattended vehicles. A crew would come back from the café to find all the seats removed. One crew suffered a variation on this. They found the branch of a tree had been dragged upstairs and pushed the length of the top deck. The branches had opened out under the seats. The only thing to do was take the bus to the garage and find a saw.
A wet afternoon, we were late and the people seemed to be taking forever to board the bus. I was upstairs and as soon as I saw the last woman get on I hit the bell. The driver pressed the button to close the electric doors and pulled away. I watched the woman walk from the platform into the bus. She had a pole under her arm. It stuck out behind her. I looked out of the window. For some strange reason there was a heap of leaves by the bus stop.
Traffic lights could be fun. Not looking what I was doing, head down collecting fares on the top deck, out of the corner of my eye I could see the mirror. Someone got on. I rang the bell. The driver pulled away. Through the red light we had been waiting at.
A variation on this game was played by certain drivers. They would pull up in the wrong lane at traffic lights. The driver of a following bus, knowing they were on different routes, would automatically take the lane alongside. Then, to the first driver's amusement, the second would set off in the wrong direction when the lights turned green.
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